Koans For Canned Soup

Who knew what kind of mysteries could be solved by a can sitting on your shelf? Not I. Not before today. Here's how I stumbled upon this amazing thing:

I was looking at a book I have called Fellows' Menu Maker , which was written for the restaurant trade in 1911. It is full of menus from restaurants and coffee shops all over the US, and some funny photos of gentlemen sitting at hotel banquet tables (in one photo they are surrounded by potted plants which they certainly must have tripped over after their post-prandial brandy). And I came upon this gem-like statement:

The difference between a leftover and a comeback is...that a leftover is prepared food that has not been dished out onto a plate...which may be kept for service at a future meal. A comeback is food that has been dished onto a plate, probably messed over, and returned to the kitchen.

Fair enough. No one wants to stick stuff that has been "messed over" into Tupperware for tomorrow's evening meal. Although Mr. Fellows does seem to have a pretty low opinion of restaurant patrons. He thinks they all mess with their dinners.

Anyway, this got me thinking about leftovers (and comebacks) and then I found this 1940 advertisement which could have been the answer to Mr. Fellows' dining dilemmas. Why, I'll bet he could have saved a few comebacks with a can of Campbell's, don't you?

Yes, all right. Tomato soup fixes everything. We get it, Campbell's ad people. Andy Warhol got it, too. Like Andy, I was inspired - but I don't paint, I write. So I thought of some alternative answers to the deep questions posed by the ad:

Wait - what is a koan again? A koan is a story or question in the Zen Buddhist tradition which can't be answered in an obvious or rational way - you use your intuition. One of the most famous ones is "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" The answer is, of course, the sound of tomato soup poured into a saucepan by the other hand.

1. How can I stretch out supper for two meals?

Serve chewing gum.

2. How can I give Davey more milk?

Hand him the whole carton. Wait - who is Davey, anyway?

3. What's a good way to start dinner on Sunday?

The take out menu rustles in the mountain air and says: one pizza with pepperoni and one plain sounds good.

4. What can I serve tonight that Ralph will be sure to like?

And who might Ralph be? I'll bet he came in with Davey. Here's hoping he likes milk out of the carton. And chewing gum.

5. What shall I serve when the girls come for lunch?

The unpretentious sandwich sits on a plate, simply Being. And what's more, it's really easy to make.

6. How can I make these leftovers interesting?

Discuss current events and classic literature with them.